Tag Archive for 'zombies'

Book Review: Dead Mann Walking by Stefan Petrucha

Sometimes I get nostalgic for the past. Back in the days when men were men, women were women, and zombies were just shuffling dead things under the command of evil voodoo priests. Yep! Things were simple then. A voodoo priest would slip their victim some good old zombie potion, make sure the victim was buried with several spiders, and then dig up the result several days later, preferably hours after it screamed itself hoarse and turned its fingers to hamburger scratching at the lid of its coffin, buried deep under the ground. What could be more easy? Now things are all complicated.

In fact, today’s zombies are full-on politicized. In today’s world, it’s no longer sufficient to simply be a zombie. You have to crave brains, be a symbol of mindless consumerism, a walking pin-cushion for the human race, an unthinkable scientific experiment gone horribly out of control, a house and home for various social ills, an easy personification of moral decay, or maybe even the very end of the world as we know it. Horrifying death without malice. I don’t really know how zombies can take all this pressure. To tell you the truth, sometimes I think they don’t exactly wear it gracefully. Let’s talk about the zombies in this book:

  • Zombies created by: New technology that reanimates the dead.
  • Fast or Slow: Kind of slow and with bad memories.
  • Killing zombies requires: Decapitation, maybe. Probably need to burn.
  • Zombies are hungry for humans: Only when they “go feral”
  • Zombies make more zombies: No
  • The rest of the world: Basically went back to business as if nothing happened.
  • Voodoo: No
  • Lots of gore: Yep

I have to mention here that I thought Stefan Petrucha’s last book, Blood Prophecy (review here), was a great read.

In this book, a technology corporation came up with a way to restore animation (and probably soul) to dead bodies. The good news is that the zombies get something of their personalities and memories back from before they died. The bad news is that their memories are unreliable, their bodies are in bad shape and continue to degrade, and eventually the zombies “go feral.” This means that they degrade to the point where they start craving brains, or whatever. Our hero Hessius Mann is a zombie who was wrongly convicted and executed for murdering his wife. When the mistake was discovered by the state, Mann was revived. Seeing as how he was a policeman before he died, he became a private detective as a zombie.

Yes I said private detective. This means that the private detective genre (please refer to this article for a detailed description) gets mixed in here as well. So Mann is hired by a normie (a.k.a. liveblood) who wants to track down a zombie and things get much more messy after that. Multiple attempts are made on his life, he falls for a femme fatale, a rich gangster gets involved, and all the other tropes of the genre come into play.

The zombies in this book are politicized in that they are the untouchables of this dystopian futuristic society. As untouchables, they are rejected and marginalized by the normies in the book. The police not only look away while zombies are brutalized by gangs of bored hicks, but if one of the hicks gets hurt, the police join in against the zombies. Zombies aren’t tolerated in expensive neighborhoods, and etc. Sadly, the zombies are no longer capable of living normal lives and so they end up being powerless to avoid fulfilling their own stereotype. Actually, before you get even halfway through the book, the list of social ills portrayed really starts to weigh down the story.

So yeah, we have here a heavily-politicized zombie fiction pulp detective novel that takes place in a dystopian future. It’s like having a chocolate-flavored pumpkin pie served on a steak with hollandaise sauce. Maybe it’s going to be your thing, and maybe it isn’t. I ended up being reminded of Richard K. Morgan’s extremely annoying Th1rte3n. The good news is that this book kicks the shit out of Th1rte3n. For one thing, it has a sense of humor.

Creepy Factor: 1 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 3 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 1 out of 5 (leathery zombie stripper anyone?)
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 3 out of 5 (leathery zombie stripper anyone?)

Final result: There’s something about books where the main characters live under the boot of a dystopian society, and it’s something I might be tired of. This books has its up and downs. The ending, though, is amazingly suspenseful. If you like pulp detective fiction and zombies, this book may be exactly what you’re looking for.

Dead Mann Walking by Stefan Petrucha ROC Books (a division of Penguin)2011

Dead Mann Walking on Amazon

Thanks to the author for sending me a copy of this book to review. See you all next time!

Zombie Attack Southern Gothic: The Reapers are the Angels by Alden Bell

The Reapers are the Angels is a dark book about the end of the world, horrible awfulness, and shitty consequences. Have you heard the Nick Cave song titled The Carny? “No one saw the carny go.” Says the first line. It’s kind of about a murdered horse named Sorrow but kind of not. If you haven’t heard that song, but you’re reading this blog, then you’ve probably seen the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The original. You’ve seen that, right? There’s the scene where the hitchhiker cuts himself. Remember that? Have you read Savage Night by Jim Thompson? If you haven’t done any of these, then your assignment is to stop reading this NOW until you’ve done at least one. I’ll make it easy. Here’s a link to the The Carny on YouTube. These three are examples of dark, awful, shitty, horrific, rotten, base things that a mind might pick at occasionally, but that are probably best left alone. They contain equal parts cruel absurdity and rude meaningfulness.

When I first started The Reapers are the Angels, I groaned inwardly because at first glance the book seemed to be about Buffy the Vampire Slayer except that, instead of vampires, the world is populated with zombies. The protagonist is named Temple, and she is fifteen years old. You discover pretty early in the book that she is an unusually tough fifteen year old, considering that she can decapitate zombies or split their skulls with one stroke of a knife. To me, this ended up requiring a bit more disbelief than I could suspend, but I ended up getting used to the idea. The book is pretty violent, and as you probably expect from a zombie story, is unapologetically gory.

The setting is post-zombie-apocalypse Southern United States. The writing style is informal and has something of a Southern Gothic affectation. So you might think that you’re reading about Br’er Rabbit, or maybe some Flannery O’Connor. This is the second book I’ve read recently where the author has a very pronounced writing style. I liked that about this book. It’s got a flavor. It’s a brave book in that Bell has taken a lot of risks.

People should probably give this book a read, so I’m going to do my best to write about it without big spoilers. We find Temple on a deserted island in Florida. The Earth has been overrun by zombies. Seeing as how there are different kinds of zombies and different zombie infection scenarios, I’ll lay out the basics of zombies in The Reapers:

  • The dead rise and walk as long as they haven’t rotted completely away.
  • The zombies are the slow variety.
  • Killing zombies requires injuring their brains.
  • Zombies are hungry for humans, and thus like to bite them.
  • People who are bitten by zombies become zombies soon thereafter.
  • The zombie apocalypse in question started twenty five years before the start of the book.
  • Civilization as we know it ended under the assault and now the world is crawling with zombies.
  • Mankind has been reduced to huddling in heavily-guarded compounds, except for some few who roam and can defend themselves.
  • The most fun way to kill zombies is with a portable nail gun.

Temple grew up after the apocalypse and knows no other world. She never knew her parents (orphan alert!) and was raised and taught how to fight zombies by someone who wasn’t her uncle. She is haunted by the memory of someone who may or may not have been her brother, and who she doesn’t want to talk or think about. Temple is a wanderer. Not really knowing where she is going, she runs from a man who has sworn to kill her, and decides to deliver a developmentally challenged man to his family in Texas. Along the way, she makes some friends and some enemies, kills some zombies, and opens a can of whoop-ass on a pack of mutants who inject themselves with zombie pituitary distillate. That last part was a lot like a video game.

I know that I keep talking about Nick Cave, but those of you who might have read his novel And the Ass Saw the Angel will notice some similarities between the two:

  1. Both books are titled after passages in the Bible.
  2. Both are written in Southern Gothic style.
  3. The meat and potatoes of both books are the small miracles and black blunderings of an accursed life.
  4. At worst, both books get mired in the heavy molasses of their own seriousness.
  5. At best, both books are garish, morbid, dark, mysterious, and emotionally gripping.

Let’s see those numbers:

Creepy Factor: 4 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 3 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 2 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 4 out of 5

Final result: In The Reapers are the Angels, Alden Bell manages to pull off an ambitious novel. My one main complaint was that I would have found it more believable if Temple had been in her twenties. I’m not kidding around when I say that two chapters in, I was sure that I was going to hate it. But in the end, I thought it was a good book. The Reapers has a compelling and suspenseful plot, emotional depth, plenty of creepy terror, some graphic gore, horrific apocalyptic tableaux, and a girl who had to grow up much too fast.

The Reapers are the Angels by Alden BellHolt Paperbacks2010

Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews, and thanks to Henry Holt and Co. for the review copy. See you next time!

Pin-Up of the Week: Dime Mystery June 1935

Dime Mystery 1935 06 June

“THE WEIRDEST
STORIES EVER
TOLD”

2 THRILLING MYSTERY – TERROR NOVELS:
SATAN’S MISTRESS
by HUGH B. CAVE

* * *

THEY THIRST BY NIGHT
by WYATT BLASSINGAME

* * *

JOHN H. KNOX – PAUL ERNST
CHANDLER H. WHIPPLE – ARTHUR J. BURKS

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* Search for Shudder Pulps on eBay *

Book Review: Way of the Barefoot Zombie by Jasper Bark

Way of the Barefoot Zombie by Jasper BarkAh, zombies. How far are we all from being zombies, anyway? I often find myself wondering that very thing when I get a vapid hankering for some meat, or when I find myself mindlessly consuming something. Sometimes I feel dull and listless, or as if someone could hack one of my arms off with an axe and I would just lurch around the room, spraying gore, and wonder what was for lunch. Yes, I am far too familiar with these kinds of feelings. These zombie feelings. They’re all around us. You know: everything in its own season and all that?

So let’s talk. You all know that I’m a monster and that being a monster, I’m like a monster expert? Well, the secret that nobody wants you to know is that while there IS a tooth fairy, there are no lurching, flesh-eating, brains-craving zombies. And no there is no debate in the monster world over whether or not fast-moving zombies are more scary than the slow type. Real zombies are poor horrible victims of Voodoo priests who were driven mad by being buried alive with huge spiders, like the poor guy in Serpent and the Rainbow. This book kind of walks a line between the two.

Enter Way of the Barefoot Zombie by Jaspar Bark. The book bills itself as a satire about capitalism, the rich and powerful, paperback gurus, and zombies. The villain of the novel, Doc Papa, hosts a billionaires club where evil capitalists learn to discard their souls and act like zombies. Our heroes infiltrate this seminar with the goal of freeing the zombies.

I’ve got get one thing off my chest right now. Being someone who has read enough about the history of Haiti to know about Francois Duvalier, I was unable to read a book with a character named Doc Papa without being pissed at the author. Like this bold choice of character names, Barefoot Zombie is naive and heavy-handed. It’s also all over the map. All in one book we have: the pain of growing distant from a parent, rampant consumerism symbolized, a perverted self-help seminar for rich capitalists, the senseless and cruel murdering of environmental activists, poorly aimed teenage angst, anger at step parents, an unfortunate character with Asperger’s, good and evil portrayed as lovers, evil capitalists tearing the aforementioned activists apart with their bare hands, a psychologically-neatly-stitched up necrophiliac (he kissed his mother on the lips, at her WAKE), a guilt-wracked Voodoo priestess, some Voodoo lore, and of course, zombies of the brain-eating kind.

(Wow – how’s that for a movie subtitle? “He kissed his mother on the lips – at her WAKE!” I like it.)

What was I saying? Oh yes. I think the book needed some focus. Barefoot Zombie lurches in the direction of being a slasher novel, then veers off into teenage angst, then over to political relevance, and back to gore island, but ends up being a coming-of-age story. I was able to make peace with the book when I turned off my brain and enjoyed it as trashy zombie fiction. This book is trashy zombie fiction. If you’re looking to read a piece of trashy zombie fiction with a lot of exposed brains and intestines and people getting their eyeballs popped out, you can’t go too far off the mark with Way of the Barefoot Zombie.

Yes one thing that Barefoot Zombie definitely succeeds at is over-the-top gore. The body count is high, and we have a real contender for the “worst possible way to die” of the year. Thus we’ve bumped up the Creepy Factor.

Creepy Factor: 3 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 3 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 0 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 2 out of 5

Final result: Trashy zombie fiction from a publisher who appears to be serious about finding new authors and publishing outrageous horror fiction. While it is a very imaginative book, I was left wanting more focus. Recommended for die-hard fans of Zombies and Voodoo who are looking for a trashy read with plenty of gore.

Way of the Barefoot Zombie by Jasper Bark – Abaddon Books – 2009
Way of the Barefoot Zombie on Amazon
Everything Zombie on Amazon

Many thanks to Abaddon Books for sending me this book to review. (See my disclosure policy.) Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews. Hopefully next time I review a nice juicy horror novel with loads of Weird Erotic Tension. I’m working on it! See you next time!

Monday Monster Music: Gene Kardos

Gene Kardos and his Orchestra * Zombie * 1934

The flying monkeys let our technician out for a minute and he snuck away into the light of day. Thanks for your patience during this difficult transition.
I ated Tinkerbell.

Fhtagn Spoken Here.

... the attic, a vast raftered length lighted only by small blinking windows in the gable ends, and filled with a massed wreckage of chests, chairs, and spinning-wheels which infinite years of deposit had shrouded and festooned into monstrous and hellish shapes.
The Shunned House
H.P. Lovecraft




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