Tag Archive for 'twins'

Kill Your Online Self

I just found out about the Suicide Machine, a delightful service that helps a person delete their online self. So if you have accounts on Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, and Twitter, the suicide machine will delete them, and do it in a way that erases all the data. How enchanting! It makes me want to create a new identity and move it around like a pawn on Facebook. Maybe I will choose to be a violinist who lives in Paris. I will name her Mlle. Belletienere.

She will be a great romantic. I will find a suitable portrait shot for her in the classifieds section of a weekly newspaper. I’m picturing her as a willowy brunette who usually wears black. Belletienere will be kind, witty and beautiful. Her grasp of English will be adorably shaky. She will have an identical twin who is not online. Her birthday will be January 1 and her relationship status will read “Tell me yours first.” She’ll always be reading the books that everyone wishes they were reading. She will start with Balzac.

Balletienere will make friends online and play farming games into the wee hours of the morning. And then years later, when she has lots and lots of friends, and even more farm animals, she will find that it has all become too much and after countless weeks spent in despair, she will decide on a quick, automated death. She will wonder if she did the right thing as she watches the suicide machine unfriend her entire contact list, delete her uploaded photos, erase her wall posts, and then axe her account. Afterwards, it will be as if she never existed. And I will be free of Mlle. Belletienere! But in my heart, I will always miss her. I am crying already.

web 2.0 suicide machine promotion from moddr_ on Vimeo.

Book Review: Hammer Glamour by Marcus Hearn

hammer_glamour_titan_booksIf you’ve seen many horror film from the 1950s, ’60s, and ’70s, it’s pretty likely that you’ve seen one or two Hammer films. UK-based Hammer Film Productions made a name for itself by updating 1930s-style B grade monster movies and injecting a lot more steam. While some of these movies faded into obscurity, others went on to be classics. Two examples are: Dracula (1958) with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, and Curse of Frankenstein (1957) also with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. To give you a taste of how Hammer worked, they followed Dracula with eight sequels and Curse of Frankenstein with six.

The movies were low-budget, gothic, and besides Cushing, Lee, and other leading men, the movies featured a bevy of glamorous ladies, which leads us to the book, Hammer Glamour. Author Marcus Hearn has put together short biographies of 50 of the gorgeous actresses from the Hammer films. Horror movie fans will be fascinated by the intro and biographies, which provide a glimpse into the rise and fall of Hammer Film Productions. To supplement the bios, the publisher has added an amazing assortment of photos of each of the stars. The book includes hundreds of photos, including steamy pin-ups, glamorous portraits, and pictures taken on-set.

Did I mention that some of these photos are rather steamy? But obviously, we are really only interested in reading the articles, aren’t we? While I certainly expected to find Raquel Welch, who sported a sexy cave woman outfit in One Million Years B.C. (1966), I was actually surprised to find Nastassja Kinski, who starred in Hammer’s final film, To the Devil a Daughter (1976). I haven’t seen it, but apparently To the Devil a Daughter was not exactly a smash hit. Fortunately, Nastassja Kinski went on to bigger and better things, including Cat People (1982). On a side note, if you haven’t seen Nastassja Kinski’s father, Klaus Kinski in Werner Herzog’s Nosferatu (1979), you should go see it now. Now! Now!

OK… Now where was I? To satisfy my OCD, here’s a list of the ladies: Ursula Andress, Eva Bartok, Stephanie Beacham, Olinka Berova, Martina Beswicke, Carita, Veronica Carlson, Diane Clare, Mary and Madeline Collinson (Mmmmm – identical twins), Adrienne Corri, Hazel Court, Jennifer Daniel, Vera Day, Susan Denberg, Marie Devereux, Diana Dors, Shirley Eaton, Julie Ege, Barbara Ewing, Suzah Farmer, Shirley Anne Field, Yvonne Furneaux, Valerie Gaunt, Eunice Gayson, Judy Geeson, Jenny Hanley, Linda Hayden, Nastassj Kinski, Marla Landi, Suzanna Leigh, Valerie Leon, Jennie Linden, Joanna Lumley, Yvonne Monlaur, Rosenna Monteros, Caroline Munro, Kate O’Mara, Barbara Payton, Jaqueline Pearce, Ingrid Pitt, Stefanie Powers, Yvonne Roman, Edina Ronay, Catherina Von Schell, Janette Scott, Barbara Shelley, Madeline Smith, Yutte Stensgaard, Victoria Vetri, Raquel Welch. Mmmmm. That’s 50.

Collinson-twins

Creepy Factor: 2 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 0 out of 5 (there IS NO suspense in a coffee table book.)
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 4 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 2 out of 5

Final result: This book is very well put together. The writing is excellent. The photos are lush and plentiful. The subject matter is interesting. Everybody knows that monsters love the ladies. And how! This coffee table book will make a great gift for the monster in your life, or failing that, the monster movie lover in your life.

Hammer Glamour by Marcus Hearn – Titan Books2009
Get Hammer Glamour on Amazon

Many thanks to Titan Books for sending me this book to review. (See my disclosure policy.) Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews. See you next time!

The flying monkeys let our technician out for a minute and he snuck away into the light of day. Thanks for your patience during this difficult transition.
I ated Tinkerbell.

Fhtagn Spoken Here.

... the attic, a vast raftered length lighted only by small blinking windows in the gable ends, and filled with a massed wreckage of chests, chairs, and spinning-wheels which infinite years of deposit had shrouded and festooned into monstrous and hellish shapes.
The Shunned House
H.P. Lovecraft




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