Tag Archive for 'monsters'

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Book Review: Foundling and Lamplighter by D.M. Cornish

Lamplighter by D.M. CornishWe all know that it’s dangerous to think in terms of black and white. For instance, a person might think that there is no place for monsters on the TV show 24. I am here to say that most definitely, there are a lot of places where monsters would make that show a lot better. For example, imagine a scene where a terrorist is chasing Jack Bauer down a hallway with a huge killer virus bomb when a monster suddenly jumps out from out of nowhere and kills the terrorist by breaking him in half and then eats his feet or something. That would be awesome. (Incidentally, I would volunteer for that part, even though the TV show really stresses me out and I need the Diabolical Dr. Francois to watch it with me. I also don’t happen to eat feet, but could pretend for a movie. Maybe they could make special effects feet out of cake.)

What I’m trying to say is that in real life things are often more complex than we like to think. Even more complex than what Jack is having to deal with every week in sixty minute bites. Sometimes the people you don’t expect to be mean, cruel and devious turn out to be worse than you could imagine. Sometimes authority has to be questioned. Sometimes things aren’t exactly as they may seem.

That is exactly the case with these two books, Foundling and Lamplighter by D.M. Cornish. A third book in the series is expected sometime this year. I was introduced to this series by the excellent book blog, Speculative Fiction Junkie. The books follow the adventures of the unfortunately named Rossamund Bookchild and are definitely the most entertaining young-adult fiction that I’ve read since Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. I wish that I could get through this review without mentioning Harry Potter, but although these are definitely a lot different, I think it’s safe to say that if you have read all of the Harry Potter books and wish there were more, these books are for you and you should go get one now. Now!

Like the Phillip Pullman and J. K. Rowling novels, the protagonist of these two books is an orphan. The orphan, Rossamund, lives in a world of magic and strange technology. The world that Cornish has imagined is amazingly complete and compelling. The world of Rossamund is inhabited by monsters of all shapes and sizes. Mankind is at war with the monsters, and any people who are found to be friendly with monsters are hanged for the crime. Our young hero Rossamund is earnest to a fault and loves to read pamphlets detailing the adventures of sailors. He dreams of a life of adventure sailing the seas, but as an orphan, his choices are limited. Eventually he is chosen to become a Lamplighter.

Lamplighters tend the lamps that run between towns throughout the empire. They are a cross between public servant and anti-monster military force. In Foundling, we follow Rossamund on his way to join the Lamplighters. He gets mislaid and has a great adventure finding his way into and out of trouble. Along the way he meets a fascinating woman named Europe who is a monster-killing mercenary. He also meets and finds himself forced to make friends with a monster.

If in Foundling it becomes obvious that not all monsters are bad and not all humans are to be trusted, the theme is expanded upon in the second book, Lamplighter. In a nutshell, Lamplighter follows Rossamund and a rather willful girl Threnody as they are trained to be Lamplighters and assigned to their first post. As could be expected in a sequel, characters from the first book make an appearance in this one. This book is so suspenseful that I could barely contain myself while reading the last fifty pages. The ending is shocking and leaves the reader with more questions than answers.

A few last details: The books are beautifully illustrated by the author and have their own jargon and language. I takes a little while to get used to the language, but once you do, it’s smooth sailing. It also must be noted that the books are amazingly imaginative and well-written. While they are marketed for young adults, they will certainly appeal to adults who enjoy fantasy and adventure. Here is the official site.

Creepy Factor: 4 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 5 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 1 out of 5 (I’m giving one star for mild romantic tension)
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 4 out of 5

Final result: Great adventure, mean monsters, deep characterizations, friendly monsters, cool illustrations, hard lessons, strange monsters, and enormous suspense all in one place. The second book is rather long but you’ll never notice it. I love these books and can’t wait to read the next one! (P.S. I don’t usually get into author blogs, but D.M. Cornish’s is here.)

Foundling by D.M. Cornish – Speak – 2007
Lamplighter by D.M. Cornish – Putnam – 2008
Get Foundling on Amazon
Get Lamplighter on Amazon

Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews. See you next time!

Happy Darkest Day!

A Very Festive Darkest Day Staircase

As you may or may not expect, it isn’t traditional in my tribe of monsters (specifically haunters of basements and attics) to celebrate Christmas. Yes. Yes. I know it might seem shocking, but monsters can be like that.

It does turn out that we have a holiday very near Christmas that we call Darkest Day. There are even traditional songs to go with Darkest Day. Such as Oh Darkest Day, I’ll be Haunting You, and Crawling up from the Depths. The second song, I’ll be Haunting You, is traditionally screamed, as opposed to anything resembling singing. The other two require quite a bit of moaning and bumping about. Crawling up is singular in that it requires the performer to slam a door at the very end. Ah! It makes me nostalgic talking about such things.

Darkest Day commemorates a special day that happened thousands of years ago in a great monster civilization that has since disappeared. It seems that a team of astronomers had noticed that the sun seemed to be going away. The days had grown shorter and shorter. It was on this day that they noticed that the sun had seemed to stop, and they excitedly announced that it would never come back. Monsters all over the world would gain hours of creeping and haunting time, and our monster GDP would skyrocket. Little did they know that they had unwittingly marked the very day that the sun started coming back. I can only imagine that this was very embarassing.

We monsters don’t generally give gifts around Darkest Day. There are a few traditional things that we do to mark it, however. For example, monsters with hair will get a haircut. It happens that some monsters who do not have hair (or for whom a haircut would be painful, like a Medusa), can get wigs. The wigs are generally black and have very very long hair so that the wearer can have a real cutting experience. (Haha. Get it?) Of course, this is one of those items where richer monsters can show up the neighbors with more expensive wigs. Some very wealthy monsters even hire ghosts to haunt their wigs.

A traditional item we share with humans around this time is the giving of cards. Of course, we do it very differently. We give cards that are made of black paper and put in black envelopes. We do not mail them or even scrawl addresses on them. A proper Darkest Day card is delivered by sneaking up the the recipient’s domicile and sliding it under a door or in a window in such a way that the receiver will be unaware that they even got a card. Unfortunately, such cards are hard to see in the dark. I’m a big fan of paper, though, so I like getting cards and leave them all over my floor to step on during the coming year.

One last tradition that monsters share on this holiday is climbing up stairways in towers. It’s best to have a very long stairway hidden away in a haunted castle or deserted lighthouse, but a good staircase in a derelict hotel or even an apartment building will do. When done properly, a lot of moaning, clanking, and bumping around in the dark creates an especially harrowing tone, and a monster should properly imagine climbing these dark stairs all the way up into the sky, even if their staircase only goes up a few floors.

So there you have it. I hope everyone has a very happy holiday.

Pin-Up of the Week: Astounding Stories March 1936

Astounding Stories March 1936 03
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Pinup of the Week: Zoe Porter

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Fear not faithful reader, I have more pulp covers. Many many more pulp covers. I just wanted to take a moment to recognize Zoe Porter, whose IMDB page says she was assistant to Merian C. Cooper, the producer of King Kong. This is such a great photo for so many reasons, not the least of which is a giant hand.

Happy Halloween! Check Out My New Cape

Happy Halloween from Dark in the Dark. Here’s my costume. I know it’s just a cape, but it’s really cool!

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In the last picture there, I’m giving a ride to the Diabolical Dr. Francois.

Happy Halloween!!!