Tag Archive for 'Mermaids'

Book Review: Infernal Devices by KW Jeter

Infernal Devices by K.W. JeterA divine farce, Infernal Devices is counted by many to be in the vanguard of Steampunk novels, written in the late 1980s by the man who is accused of coining the accursed term. The hero of our story, George, is the ne’er-do-well son of a genius watchmaker. George lives in Victorian England and has very little imagination and even less talent for repairing or even maintaining the works of his late father, who also built clockwork automata.

One day a mysterious man with leathery skin appears at his shop, terrorizes his manservant, and asks George to repair a mysterious device (a regulator) that George’s father created. This sets off a chain of events in which George finds himself completely out of his very limited depth. Two or three (or four?) different organizations have designs for George, the regulator, and an automaton which George’s father created that looks exactly like George.

George, finding himself in the midst of what he considers a mystery, spends the rest of the book blindly floundering. Along the way he encounters, and is often mishandled by, a race of half-breed fish people, a pair of con-artists (one of whom is a sexually voracious lady), the leather-skinned man, a wealthy man who wants to end the world so he can speak to aliens, the (often violent) head of a morality organization, and various assorted seedy lowlifes. Did I mention that some time travel is involved?

The very fate of the Earth hangs in the balance, and the plot is built of wheels within wheels. The comedy is thick, and this reader was delighted as George’s fate and wits turned from bad to worse, to worse still, and then even worse. It’s a long way to the bottom, and all George really manages to do properly is throw a fit like he’s Niccolo Paganini. OK. OK. He manages to do more. Like avoid being murdered by a lynch mob.

Creepy Factor: 1 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 4 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 2 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 5 out of 5

Final result: I said it was a farce, and I stand by that. Definitely not horror, but certainly nice and dark. Cthulhu is mentioned. Do I really need to gush more? I hope not. You should read this book.

Infernal Devices – K.W. Jeter1987St. Martin’s Press
Republished by Angry Robot – 2011

Buy Infernal Devices (Angry Robot) now on Amazon

Book Review: The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart by Jesse Bullington

the sad tale of the brothers grossbart by jesse bullingtonThe title reads “The Sad Tale of Brothers Grossbart” but the book reveals itself to be half comedy, half tragedy. You can discern as much by reading the headline on the back: “We ain’t thieves and we ain’t killers, we’s just good men been done wrong.”

And so goes the malevolent stupidity of the grave robbing pair. See: grave robbing isn’t wrong if it’s your family trade. Right? The brothers would agree. They would also add that they only throttled your ma because she was making too much noise (and she started it first). Although the tongue is placed firmly in cheek, it should be noted that this book is probably not for everyone. It even has the courtesy to provide a gatekeeper in the form of an atrocity, five pages in, where the brothers carelessly slaughter the wife and children of a turnip farmer. “Abandon all Hope Ye Who Enter Here.” Setting the tone for the rest of the book, the violence in this scene is frank and anatomically descriptive.

The more sensitive readers may be right to put the book down. The rest of us will later begin to see slapstick in the many hyper-photographically detailed bodily insults recorded here. The brothers make enemies as naturally as we breathe air, and a large subplot of the book involves the vengeful people, witches, and supernatural beings on the trail of the Grossbarts. The Grossbarts themselves are focused on getting to Egypt, because they’ve heard many a tale of the fantastical graves there. Being grave robbers and all, they take a professional interest.

Plot-wise, the book reads very much like the adventures of Sinbad the Sailor as chronicled in the Book of the Thousand Nights and One Night. That is to say that the protagonists become tangled in machinations that are vastly greater than they are. The brothers manage to stumble through by the light of their own convictions, no matter how misplaced those convictions may be. In the Brothers Grossbart, this provides endless opportunities for dire humor. And at times these awful, stinking, disgusting, ugly, and appallingly stupid and violent men approach likability. I was also reminded of Grimm’s Fairy Tales (tragedy set in mythical surroundings), Tim Powers The Anubis Gates (historical hilarity and accretion of painful injuries), and James Branch Cabell’s Jurgen (a comedy that is not really about what it purports to contain).

I would be wrong to talk about this book without mentioning the masterful grasp that Bullington has on the English language. The language is used like a fine tool to disgust, appall, frighten, or even describe beauty. Upon entering Venice: “True to its visage, the sky let them advance only a short distance before a deluge crashed down on them.” The brothers and unfortunate henchmen are approached by three long dead, rotting men who are animated by demons: “The stench overpowered them, even the Grossbarts gagging on the suddenly wet air.”

Creepy Factor: 4 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 2 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 2 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 5 out of 5

Final result: It is not wrong to want to murder the Brothers Grossbart. What a great book.

The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart by Jesse Bullington2009Orbit

Buy The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart now at Amazon

Photo Album Three

Looks like this posting of vintage photographs is going to become a regular feature here…

The incomparable Lupe Velez

The incomparable Lupe Velez. Based on her eyebrows, I’m saying this is from the early 1930s. Auction Here Expires 6/8

Xray of a Miss Coutts, 1923

Here is hoping Miss Coutts got better after this. Lot of interesting xrays from the 1920s. Auction Here Expires 6/9

1918 Pirate

1918. Pirates don’t seem to have changed much in the intervening years. Funny what you can learn when you’re a student of vintage photography. Auction Here Expires 6/12

X Ray Technology

X Ray Technology. 1940s Velox. Auction Here Expires 6/12

Flying Monkeys

My favorite scene from the Wizard of Oz. Look at how beautiful Margaret Hamilton is there. Ah. It makes my heart pitter patter. Auction Here Expires 6/28

1969 Mermaid

Mermaid out of water. 1969. Auction Here Expires when it expires.

See more Vintage Photos here on Dark in the Dark.

Check this space for more weird photos on eBay.

*Best Search Ever*


darkinthedark does not claim copyright on these images. If you are the copyright holder and object to their presence here, please contact me and I will remove them.

Monster Alphabet: M is for Mermaid 3

Mermaid Sculpture 3

Mermaid Sculpture 2

Mermaid Sculpture 1

Some fairy tale mermaid apologists have tried to characterize the homicidal tendencies of mermaids as simple forgetfulness. The mermaids attract the humans and then “forget” that they can’t breathe underwater as they pull them down into the murky depths. Look at this mermaid. Does she look forgetful?

This is M is for Mermaid 3. Click here for M is for Mermaid 1 and M is for Mermaid 2.

MAD TEA: Melissa Sue on Etsy

I took a brief break from my Mad Tea duties, and am late for it today as well. But better late than never, as they say. MAD TEA stands for Monster Art Dolls Toy Etsy Artists. It’s a stretch I know. See this page for details about MAD TEA. Today’s Etsy Monster Artist is Melissa Sue Stanley. This post also goes in the “It’s safe to tell you now I’ve ordered mine.” category because I got one of her creations.

Horrible. Horrible.

Horrible. Horrible.

Melissa Sue designs and creates creatures and creations. You can order pre-made items from her store, or you can ask for something custom. It looks like she doesn’t make Amigurumi anymore, which is too bad. For the uninitiated, Amigurumi is a Japanese art of making knitted or crocheted anthropomorphic shapes or stuffed animals. I guess it’s kind of moot now, though, except: She is selling a couple of pre-made ones.

I’m going to shut up now and let the photos do the talking. These are great soft-sculpture objects.

Melancholy Monster

Footsie Monster 3

Footsie Monster 3

New U design monster stuffed animal

sea undine monster

I wanted a friend for the Diabolical Dr. Francois, so I ordered a custom Melancholy Monster. We traded a few Etsy “convos”, which are what Etsy refers to as messages about an item. I didn’t realize until I ordered this monster that Etsy is pretty well set up to do custom orders and commissions. You can basically pick an artist, write up a proposal for what you want, and offer a price. The artist can accept, decline, or haggle. It ends up being an interesting process.

I sent in my commission and Melissa Sue sent back this drawing.

Design Drawing

I suggested some changes to the head gear, and this is what resulted.

Custom Monster

Here’s the finished product, with the Diabolical Dr. Francois.

Monster with the Diabolical Dr. Francois

Dr. Francois isn’t looking as sinister and menacing as usual, because I caught him off-guard with this gift.

Melissa Sue, like most Etsy artists, has a blogger blog which it looks like she updates fairly regularly. You should check it out. There’s a lot of cool stuff. Well, that’s it for this week’s installment of MAD TEA. See you next week for more Monster Art Doll Toy Etsy Artists.

House Tree Monster

The flying monkeys let our technician out for a minute and he snuck away into the light of day. Thanks for your patience during this difficult transition.
I ated Tinkerbell.

Fhtagn Spoken Here.

... the attic, a vast raftered length lighted only by small blinking windows in the gable ends, and filled with a massed wreckage of chests, chairs, and spinning-wheels which infinite years of deposit had shrouded and festooned into monstrous and hellish shapes.
The Shunned House
H.P. Lovecraft




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