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“You can’t compromise with love.” he said. “Sooner or later it catches up with you…”
Thanks for the warning. I’m breaking the rules again this week by posting something from 1960. I love this cover! It really speaks to me. The terror!
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For those of you who read my review of Barnabas Collins, here is some more of that action. Jonathan Frid as Barnabas Collins. You have to love this.
…and this:
It’s just beautiful.
Something must have been wrong with my air traffic control system when I found it, because this gothic romance novel flew right in under my radar. I was delighted to find what appeared to be a trashy vampire paperback from the late 1960s and I was totally sure that it was going to be filled with weird erotic tension, and crossed my fingers, hoping that it wouldn’t have a Scooby-Doo ending. I got about twenty pages into it before I realized that it seemed like a romance novel. Panicking, I checked the front cover again, and this time the word “Gothic” jumped out at me. “How did I miss that?” I wondered. “Ah. No matter.” I thought. “Maybe this will be amusing.”
Who is Barnabas Collins?
At this point, you may be wondering, “Who is this Barnabas Collins, the vampire America loves to hate?” In short, besides being a 175 year old vampire, Barnabas Collins is a liar, a cheat, a parasite, and a cad. When he is taking advantage of the family maid, his mind is really elsewhere: Planning a later liaison with a loose woman he will meet at a tavern. He is startlingly promiscuous and an evasive cad when confronted with it. He spends most of the rest of his time coddling a broken heart and fawning over any poor crippled young lady who may by chance resemble his one lost love. His lost love, Josette, who threw herself off a cliff when she discovered his curse!
Here’s the set-up: Margaret Collins should be on top of the world. She has married into a wealthy family and runs a bustling household in 1899. Sadly, her workaholic husband is a jerk. Margaret has a beautiful daughter who was born with deformed legs and a weak heart. Still, Margaret perseveres. There is also Luke, a kind-hearted but developmentally challenged boy who is devoted to her daughter. Also on her estate, Collinwood, reside a few maids, including an elderly retired maid who has become part of the family, and who is named “Granny Erstwhile.”
Enter Barnabas Collins, who claims to be the grandson of the original Barnabas of long ago. Of course, since we all know he’s a vampire already, we are aware of the sham, but Margaret has to learn the hard way. Barnabas rents the family’s smaller original house, which exists on the grounds of Collinwood. Margaret secretly falls in love with Barnabas while he does the following:
Margaret eventually discovers his secret and a truce is forged. Margaret’s daughter, Greta, has had another attack and doesn’t have long to live. Greta has fallen under the spell of Barnabas and Barnabas fawns over her (because of her resemblance to Josette.) When confronted by Margaret, Barnabas threatens to withdraw his loving attention from Greta, which may lead to her immediate death. Margaret relents, but we know she’s secretly in love with Barnabas.
He linked his cane over the chair back and took her gently by the arms, his deep-set black eyes drilling into her. “Do you not realize you are the kind of woman I could love if things were not as they are?” he asked in a taut voice. “You have beauty, strength of character and a kind heart. Virtues I admire greatly.”
Margaret tried to avoid those hypnotic eyes, fearful of his overpowering her with his strong will. She, who had so long been the victim of a loveless marriage, was only too aware of the magnetism of this odd but handsome man. She trembled with the passion his words aroused in her along with the chilling fear she had come to feel for him.
“Please, let me go!” she whispered.
Luckily all is not lost. I’ve already spoiled enough of the novel without revealing the end. In the final analysis, I would rate this near the top of the trashy gothic romances from this era (of which I have read a handful) and was especially happy that it didn’t have a Scooby Doo ending (A Scooby-Doo ending, for the uninitiated, is the kind where the ghost or monster is unmasked in the end, and you find that he was really – for example – the janitor who was haunting the factory to keep people away while he robbed the safe “Until you kids came along and spoiled everything!”)
While researching this book I found that Barnabas Collins is alive and well! There is a movie “in development” that will star Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins with Tim Burton directing. Barnabas Collins also has his own Wikipedia page. The Dark Shadows TV show has following too, with pages all over. There is the Dark Shadows Wiki, Dark Shadows dot com, Dark Shadows Online, and Collinwood dot net. Here is the IMDB page for the original Dark Shadows TV show. Click here to see my review of the Dark Shadows movie, House of Dark Shadows with Barnabas Collins.
Jonathan Frid as Barnabas Collins.
Creepy Factor: 2 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 2 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 1 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 5 out of 5
Final result: You will not be missing anything if you pass this one over, but I love to hate Barnabas Collins!
Barnabas Collins by Marilyn Ross – Paperback Library – 1968
Barnabas Collins Book and Action Figure on Amazon
Dark Shadows DVDs and gear on Amazon
Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews. Hopefully next time I review a nice juicy horror novel with loads of Weird Erotic Tension. I’m working on it! See you next time!
This week’s Weekly Geeks challenge is to convince a friend that historical fiction isn’t boring. Being a monster, a book reviewer, a crypt keeper and a haunter of basements and attics, it’s a natural that I would be intimately familiar with historical fiction. I have even reviewed an example of historical fiction here: The Stress of Her Regard by Tim Powers, and sooner or later I’m sure there will be more book reviews of this nature. I’ve also mentioned The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova, which I would recommend to anyone. However, to the real die-hard “I hate historical fiction” person I would recommend Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. This book was so good that I still savor the memory of reading it. For the person who wants to read something hilarious, I would recommend To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis, which is a fine historical piece dressed up to resemble a science fiction novel.
To be honest, however, I really appreciate fiction that was written in its own period and that as a result contains an indelible stamp of the time it was written in. One of my guilty pleasures is reading trashy pulp fiction from the 1960s. Mmmmmmm. In the ’60s, being trashy just seemed so natural.
Here are some books from my OTHER collection. Since the year they were published, some of these books have faded into well-deserved obscurity. In fact, it’s a pretty safe bet that all but two of these books are currently out of print. One of these books sparked an entire genre and is still studied in college classes today. At least one of them was written under a pen name by an author who became famous for writing other books. And then there’s Jim Thompson and Carter Brown. Check out these covers and the cover blurbs.
LOST, LONELY, BOYISHLY APPEALING – this is Beebo Brinker – who never really knew what she wanted – until she came to Greenwich Village and found the love that smoulders in the shadows of the twilight world. – Beebo Brinker by Ann Bannon
CHESTER DRUM takes the oddest “trip” of his career – with a tall death-dealing blonde and an even taller dose of LSD. – Drum Beat Erica by Stephen Marlowe
MODESTY BLAISE – Men tremble at the sight of Modesty Blaise. Out of lust… and out of fear. Not only is Modesty a gorgeous hunk of woman, she is also one of the deadliest females this side of Mata Hari. – Modesty Blaise by Peter O’Donnell
RIVAL FOR A CORPSE – The sizzling brunette collected shrunken heads but she offered Al Wheeler five thousand dollars to bring her the live heart of her ex-husband. – The Passionate by Carter Brown
POP. 1280 – 1277 of the citizens were just plain folk – thieves, simpletons, cheats. It was those other 3 – Myra, Amy, and Rose – who made Pottsville the hottest town this side of the Equator – Pop. 1280 by Jim Thompson
THE MORNING AFTER – For one thing, the room I was lying in was strange. The bed was strange, the lights were strange – even the telephone was strange. For another, there was a girl in the room. She was sitting on the window sill. She was wearing a slip. And she was nobody I knew. – Some Like it Cool by Robert Kyle
THE SHOCKING TRUTH – The probing, intimate novel that dares focus public attention on the low moral values of some men of medicine who mix professional practices with excesses in lust! – Doctors’ Women by Phillip Sorrell
THERE IS NO BLURB, unfortunately, but with a cover like this, who needs one? – Father of the Amazons by Pete Lewis
Whatever you do, don’t miss the pink mules on the cover of The Passionate.
As a bonus, all but two of these covers were illustrated by the same artist. Extra credit points go to whoever can name the artist. Well, I have basements to haunt and crypts to keep so I’ll catch you on the flip-side. Thanks for joining me for another Weekly Geeks installment.
I want to know: What’s your guilty reading pleasure?
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