Archive for the 'Book Reviews' Category

SpaceWreck by Stewart Cowley

Spacewreck by Stewart CowleyIt seems like a meme that’s been coming up a lot lately, for me at least, has been: Two great flavors that go great together. This is definitely the case with this book. Great Flavor Number One being: aliens. Great Flavor Number Two being: Exploring ancient ruins, haunted houses, and/or derelict ships. If you’re anything like me, when you first saw the movie Alien, the most fascinating part of the movie was when they went into the giant derelict space ship and found H.R. Giger’s “space jockey”. That was one of those moments where you remember exactly where you were when you first experienced it. Of course it helps that I was in a movie theater. That was awesome!

The title of this book is Spacewreck – Ghostships and Derelicts of Space and it was published in 1979. The author, Stewart Cowley, wrote a couple of these that all went together and were called “Terran Trade Authority Handbooks”. They’ve become something like collectors items over the years. Besides Spacewreck, there was Starliners, Great Space Battles, and Spacecraft 2100 to 2200 AD. None of the other books held as much interest for me, though, because they didn’t have ruined civilizations, scientific experiments gone horribly wrong, or haunted planets.

Illustration from Spacewreck by Tony Roberts

Illustration from Spacewreck by Tony Roberts

In addition to the great stories, the book is lavishly illustrated. To me, this is like an extensive catalog of exotic vacation spots. I would definitely pay money to visit a quarantined space derelict where an ill-advised agricultural experiment went awry and took the lives of an entire crew.

Illustration from Spacewreck by Tony Roberts

Illustration from Spacewreck by Tony Roberts

Another place I would pay to visit is a planet with numerous giant derelict space ships that are worshiped as holy places by the strange humanoid inhabitants. Are they the descended from the space voyagers, or did the unlucky visitors meet their fates on the planet, and leave massive crumbling hulks of alien technology?

Illustration from Spacewreck by Bob Layzell

Illustration from Spacewreck by Bob Layzell

One place that sounds too horrible to visit is a planet where the wars got out of hand and thrust the population back to stone-age civilization.

Illustration from Spacewreck by Fred Gambino

Illustration from Spacewreck by Fred Gambino

Of course, none of these places are real, but a monster can certainly dream. Here’s a list of illustrators who contributed to this book (links go to artist websites): Alan Daniels, Peter Elson, Fred Gambino, Colin Hay, Robin Hiddon, Bob Layzell, Angus McKie, and Tony Roberts. It’s interesting to see what these artists are up to thirty years later.

This isn’t so much a book review as it is a “look at this cool thing. Wow!” article, but my OCD is forcing me to grade this book in the normal manner.

Creepy Factor: 3 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 2 out of 5 (short stories)
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 0 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 5 out of 5

Final result: Look at this cool thing. Wow!

Spacewreck – Ghostships and Derelicts of Space by Stewart Cowley – Hamlyn Publishing – 1979
Buy Spacewreck at Amazon – what are you waiting for?!?

Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews. See you next time!

Published on August 16, 2010 in Book Reviews. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

Book Review: The Drawing of the Dark by Tim Powers

The Drawing of the Dark by Tim Powers - 1979If you’re a regular reader here, you probably know that I’m something of a Tim Powers fan. See reviews here, here, and here. I’m getting near to having read his entire output. Imagine my delight when some members of my rat army showed up with a mint first edition copy of Powers’ 1979 The Drawing of the Dark. What I do when I get a collectible book is I make a paper book cover out of a paper bag and do my best to gentle on the spine. My goal is to leave the book looking like I never read it. Making brown paper bag covers for books always makes me think that anyone seeing me read the book might suspect that I was reading pornography or a romance novel. Luckily I’m a proud book geek and I have to assure you that I’ve read plenty from both those genres and probably will again before it’s all done with. For that matter, the copy of Jim Thompson’s Savage Night that I own has a ridiculous, lurid cover that would really need to be hidden in public. Not that I ever go out in public, considering that I’m a MONSTER and people would try to KILL ME. What was I talking about?

Powers researches real events and produces stories that are as historically accurate as possible, and then puts a major twist on them, and sort of tells a “secret history” of the event. The event being re-framed in The Drawing is the 1529 siege of Vienna by the Ottomans. If you have read and liked The Anubis Gates, the good news is that this book has something of the same flavor. It’s about adventure and strange underworld goings-on in 16th Century Europe. Powers also explores his interest in the Fisher King, which also figured into the plot of his later book Last Call (1993). To give you a summary, The Drawing of the Dark is about an aging mercenary who is hired by a wizard to be a bouncer at a brewery in Vienna. On his way to his assignment from Venice, things start getting weird. Different groups of people try to kill him. Supernatural beings, including a troop of dwarfs, come to his aid at strange times. Once he gets to Vienna he gets pulled deeper and deeper into a struggle between near-mythological forces. He feels like an ordinary mercenary, but it becomes obvious that larger forces are at work.

There is fighting, romance, adventure, and plenty of weird magical realism. The fighting is painful, the romance is complicated and maybe a little sad, the adventure is imaginative and interesting, and the magic is strangely plausible. This book also has a humorous edge to it. Sadly, for me the book really got bogged down about halfway through. Although some of the characters still don’t get what’s going on, the reader will have it figured out, and that tends to water down the tension of the narrative. Also, the ending ended up being a little anti-climactic.

Let’s see those numbers.

Creepy Factor: 2 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 3 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 0 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 3 out of 5

Final result: If you’re already a Powers fan and are working your way through his books, you’ll probably like this book. If you’re curious about Powers, I would instead recommend Three Days to Never (2006), or the oft-mentioned-here, Anubis Gates (1983). If you are interested in the One Thousand and One Nights (a.k.a. 1001 Arabian Nights), you will probably find Declare (2001) to be an amazing read. I thought it was really mind-blowing, but a friend of mine couldn’t get through it.

The Drawing of the Dark by Tim Powers – Del Ray – 1979
Buy The Drawing of the Dark on Amazon

Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews. See you next time!

Published on August 12, 2010 in Book Reviews. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .

Awful Dreck: Baltimore by Mike Mignola and Christopher Golden

Baltimore by Mike Mignola and Christopher GoldenUsually I write up a fat, juicy little intro to my reviews, but today I’m going to cut to the chase. Baltimore SUCKED! Here’s what I think happened: A very talented artist who does some very cool and goofy things got it into his head to write something serious and fumbled the genre he chose. Or something like that.

The setup: Three men with haunted pasts are summoned to a cursed town by soldier-turned-vampire hunter, Lord Henry Baltimore. Baltimore has been searching for a vampire king in order to avenge the loss of his family and wife to the scourge. The three men will join in the battle for Baltimore’s very soul and spirit. The book is illustrated throughout with drawings by the very talented Mike Mignola. Readers may remember Mignola from the Hellboy series and The Amazing Screw-On Head, among other things. Here’s more information about Christopher Golden, who I am unfamiliar with.

What’s good about Baltimore? Vampires, adventures on the dark side, and one good story (out of 4) about a haunting. I think that the book aspires to be something interesting and unique. To me, it hearkens back to some older adventure fiction, and has a kind of steampunk sensibility. For instance, it has something of the flavor of Jules Verne novels like Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, or Wells’ War of the Worlds. (Except that, unlike those books, it sucks). It has adventure, travel, and moral fortitude.

What’s not so good about Baltimore? I was reminded of Moby Dick, of all things, but probably not for the reason you’re thinking. When I read Moby Dick, I was like “It’s halfway through the book and the ship hasn’t sailed and we’re reading about a pastor!” The book is practically over before anything really happens. The first part of the book tells how Lord Baltimore becomes the sworn enemy of the vampires. The second part of the book consists of the three men swapping tales of their own brushes with the supernatural. The third part gets you somewhat caught up with what Baltimore has been doing recently, in epistolary format. Finally, the fourth part of the book is the showdown between the vampire king and Baltimore (and his henchmen).

What sucks about Baltimore? Dull, two-dimensional, interchangeable characters; a vampire hunting hero with a jointed wooden leg who carries dumb vampire-hunting gear; a vampire novel with absolutely no eroticism or even titillation; no meaningful female characters at all; mechanical writing; a weird thing in the beginning about toy soldiers that doesn’t really figure into the rest of the book.

Let’s see those numbers.

Creepy Factor: 3 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 1 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 0 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 0 out of 5

Final result: Because of Mignola, the artwork, and the subject matter, this book jumped off the shelf at me and demanded to be read. Finishing it ended up being a dull chore, and I am especially bitter because I expected better. Guys! Guys! Don’t bother writing a vampire novel without any eroticism. You might as well just make it about werewolves or something. Don’t get me wrong – I like werewolves. Some of my best friends are werewolves, but they’re not sexy like vampires.

Baltimore by Mike Mignola and Christopher Golden – Bantam Books – 2007
DON’T Buy Baltimore at Amazon

Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews. See you next time!

Published on July 29, 2010 in Book Reviews. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

Book Review: Ripley’s Believe it or Not! Enter if You Dare!

I had so much fun with the last book that the kind folks at Ripley’s Publishing sent me (see my review, here) that I was thrilled when they sent me another. I know that sometimes the world can get a monster down. Everywhere you turn, people are trying to tell you cute stories about their four year old son and something about ice cream cones. Or worse yet, about kittens or puppies. At times like these I find myself wishing for a little dose of the grotesque or awful. For example, a man who paints dead insects, who has done a series inspired by Michael Jackson. Yeah!!!

Thriller Grasshopper - Ripley's Enter if You Dare!

Or maybe you’d like to read about vampires. The book comes with a special fold-out section about vampires, and a large spread detailing vampire hunting kits.

Vampires - Ripley's Believe it or Not

I always love how with a story about Vlad the Impaler, publishers always include a grisly woodcut showing people impaled on poles. Speaking of impaling things, I didn’t know this, but there is a caterpillar in Australia known as a “Hatterpiller” that, when if sheds its skin, it saves the old head, and impales it on a spike that grows out of the top of its head. It wears them like hats. It keeps doing this as it sheds heads until it is wearing a series of mummified head shells on its head. Each head is a little smaller as it goes up. It’s like a Dr. Suess fashion gone ridiculously wrong. Australians have the craziest insects! Giant spiders. Bulldog ants. But I digress.

Ripley's Enter if You Dare - Vampire Hunting Kit

Here’s a vampire hunting kit. Anyways, like I said in my last review, these books are low on the attention span and high on the fascinating weirdness. I also admire Ripley’s for knowing their audience and going all out. The book is hardbound, with a garish purple and silver holographic foil cover, and a lenticular insert of a door opening with an amazed face behind it. It’s completely filled with photos. There are a few fold-out sections, including a life-sized photo of a 23.5 inch tall teenager. So if you want to have your picture taken with her, there’s no need to travel anywhere, just open up the book, and bam! you’re ready for a portrait.

Here is a list of the chapters:

  • Strange but True
  • Weird World
  • Animal Antics
  • Extreme Sports
  • Body Oddity
  • Travel Tales
  • Incredible Feats
  • Bizarre Mysteries
  • Fantastic Food
  • Artistic License
  • Amazing Science
  • Beyond Belief

So once again, you’ve got everything from chocolate covered insects, to animals with multiple heads, to giant ovarian cysts, to mummified nuns in chapels, to giant hair sculptures, and more and more and more.

Creepy Factor: 4 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 0 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 0 out of 5 (it’s family friendly)
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 5 out of 5

Final result: My dentist refused to replace his dreadful Taschen book of modern architecture with the other Ripley’s book. I really wish that I could talk him into putting one of these in the waiting room. I would give him mine for some more gas now and again, although it would be painful for me to part with it. For me, Ripley’s is the perfect place to catch up on my reading about sword swallowers, fire eaters, and pears which grow in the shape of smiling Buddhas.

Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Seeing is Believing – Ripley Publishing – 2009
Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Enter If You Dare! on Amazon

Many thanks to Ripley Books for sending me this book to review. (See my disclosure policy.) Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews. See you next time!

Published on July 22, 2010 in Book Reviews. 1 Comment Tags: , , , .

Book Review: Seance for a Vampire by Fred Saberhagen

Last night I had a dream where I was walking along with a book about Dracula, and I didn’t notice that coming the other way was Grover from Sesame Street holding a book about Sherlock Holmes. (Don’t look at me like that. Grover may be the star of a childrens TV show, but he’s still a monster and a good friend of mine.) We crashed together and my book about Dracula fell into his book about Sherlock Holmes and BAM! They became a book about Sherlock Holmes and Dracula. All in one book! Two great flavors that taste great together? Maybe not.

OK. OK. The part about the dream I made up, but Grover IS a good pal of mine. And there is a book in Titan’s “Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes” series that features Dracula, Holmes and Watson. In Seance for a Vampire by Fred Saberhagen we find them investigating the case of a dead heiress who makes an appearance in a seance held by some suspicious spiritualists. The book further posits that Dracula and Holmes are cousins and this is what caused Holmes to have such a nightmarish childhood (?).

I have to say that when I found out about the book, I was interested. I mean, there’s Sherlock Holmes and Dracula, and that means there is going to be vampirism and a nice staking scene probably. And then there is going to be a seance, so there’s going to be some table-rapping and fake ectoplasm coming out of people’s noses and from behind their ears. Probably some sex. And blood. And Sherlock Holmes and mayhem in London. People getting knocked out. Yeah. And Sherlock will pull out his chemistry set and pick locks and create image transfers with sulfur dioxide and discover ape hair jammed in windows and shit like that.

The book looks very promising at the start. We are introduced to a hot Eastern European female vampire who is watching a public hanging of a pirate. She is watching this and simultaneously having a mysterious conversation with a rich merchant, who is obviously crooked. I was thinking to myself “Aw yeah. Here we go.” Then the author kills both characters off. Later in the book everything slows to a crawl and it becomes strictly snoresville.

While there is some sex, it’s mostly talked about abstractly and after the fact. Dracula puts the bite on one of the fraudulent spiritualists, but we are only told that it’s happening. No juicy details. No hungry eyes. No torn bodices. Then there is the rich heiress who has been turned into a vampire. Normally, in a vampire novel, somebody gets staked. And you go: “Yeah! Stake that vampire! Stake her good! I want to see that stake come out the other side of her chest while she shrieks over and over!” Not here. Here they go searching for the vampire heiress, and the first time they find her, they let her escape somehow. Lame. And then the next time they search for her, they find her and discover that SOMEBODY ELSE HAS ALREADY STAKED HER. Then there’s an awesome booby trap set to kill Holmes, but here’s how the scene plays out:

Dracula said, “Wait. There is a diabolical booby trap here.” And then he said. “OK I have disarmed the booby trap.”

“Good thing you saw that.” replied Watson.

Now I can see this book possibly being a treat for somebody who really loves Sherlock Holmes and who wants to experience a Sherlock Holmes book like they were written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Maybe. What I mean is if you are somebody who might be looking for something a turn of the century gentleman might write, then… But I don’t remember the works of Doyle being this dull. Maybe they were and I’ve forgotten. I know that at one time or another I’ve read all of Doyle’s Holmes books and the memories are fond. And maybe those of you who are fans of the Doyle books would enjoy this one. Maybe.

Creepy Factor: 1 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 1 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 2 out of 5 (For the hot Eastern European vampire at the beginning.)
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 1 out of 5

Final result: I forgot to mention the Rasputin kind of character! There is a Russian mesmerist in this book. You know, the kind who uses his mesmerism and magnetic personality to take advantage of women? Like Rasputin. In this book. And what does he do? He has two very sensible conversations!!! That’s what. It bears mentioning that there are some books in the Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes that have very positive reviews on Amazon.

Seance for a Vampire by Fred Saberhagen – Titan Books – 2010
Buy Seance for a Vampire at Amazon

Thanks for reading another one of my book reviews, and thanks to Titan Books for the review copy. See you next time!

Published on July 14, 2010 in Book Reviews. 2 Comments Tags: , , , , , .