Sometimes a monster reads something really amazing, and thinks to themselves, “Wow! I’m so cool that I read this. I’m going to tell all my friends and they’re going to think that I’m always up on the cool new thing.” Then you discover that it was written a couple of years ago, and you end up having to admit that that you’re not that cool. Of course, we should talk about You. Yes, you. You are cool. Admit it. We all know you’re cool. So get over yourself.
Meanwhile, in the same world as you, there is this book Anno Dracula by Kim Newman, which is really amazing. Originally published in 1992 and recently re-issued by Titan Books (who sent me a copy, thank you Titan Books), led to a whole series of sequels following Dracula and some people who are definitely not his friends through the end of the 19th Century and well into the 20th. Here’s where I pull out my world famous vampire classification system:
- Superhuman strength: Yes
- Changeling: Yes
- Sparkles: No
- Erotic neck biting: And how
- Drink blood: Yes
- Can turn victims into more vampires: With vampire blood
- Must be killed by decapitation or stake through the heart: Yes, and silver
- Reflection in mirrors: Hazy
- Scared of crosses and/or garlic: Not unless superstitious
- Burn in sunlight: Yes
- Goth nightclub visit: No
- Mind control: Maybe a little
Ah! I love classifying vampires. The one that really counts – the erotic neck biting? As Woody Allen famously said about sex, you’re only doing it right if it makes you feel dirty. And Anno Dracula gleefully grants all of Victorian England a seamy underbelly of dirty vampire blood swapping. There is also a fascinating extra wrinkle where the older a vampire gets, the stronger, faster, and harder to kill they are. Older vampires are called Elders and they tend to be about the only thing that worries younger vampires.
The set-up is an alternate take on a fictional event. Being: Starting with Bram Stoker’s Dracula, what if the Count hadn’t been defeated? What if, after turning and losing Lucy, Dracula survived and moved on to bigger and better things, eventually seducing Queen Victoria herself? What if, after taking over England in such a manner, vampires were able to go… uh… mainstream? I’m doing a terrible job of making this sound as cool as it is. Newman (who incidentally is a Mr. Newman, not a Ms.) takes this general premise, adds a hunt for Jack the Ripper, and even mixes in dense political intrigue.
Creepy Factor: 4 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 4 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 5 out of 5
Funny and/or Strange Factor: 3 out of 5
Final result: It may be the best book I’ve read so far this year. Anno Dracula has it all. An interesting plot, social relevance, intriguing characters, suspense, mystery, hair-raising horribleness, breathtaking violent vampire fights, and loads of erotic vampirism. I loved it! Coincidentally, Kim Newman has a new novel, Professor Moriarty: The Hound of the D’Urbervilles, coming out in September.
P.S. The new Titan edition has over 100 pages of added material, including annotations, an afterword, alternate plot threads, and more.
Anno Dracula by Kim Newman – 1992 – This edition by Titan Books
Buy Anno Dracula now on Amazon
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