Monthly Archive for February, 2009

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Book Review: Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson

stephenson_diamondageI have this recurring dream about being trapped in a factory. In the dream, I’m strapped into a chair in front of a black conveyor belt. The conveyor belt emerges from a little window in a gray wall way off in the distance. The end of the conveyor belt is right in front of me and terminates in a drop-off. On the conveyor belt are an endless line of silver serving dish covers. As each dish cover reaches the end of the conveyor belt, a thin robot arm comes down and lifts the cover off and under each one is a rat or a squid. In the dream I am compelled to announce each rat or squid as it falls off of the conveyor belt. “Rat. Squid. Rat. Rat. Rat. Squid. Rat. Squid. Squid.” It seems so meaningless. Meaningless! Marooned in a sea of meaninglessness, my brain turns against itself and I laugh maniacally. Ah HA! HA HA HA HA! Ha hahaha!

Sometimes reading is like that. A rat here. A squid there. Then another rat. But sometimes the robot arm lifts the serving dish cover and underneath is a monkey with a ruby loupe in its eye repairing a golden clockwork octopus with an air-powered nut driver and you think to yourself, “Where did that come from?” Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson is a lot like that. It is simultaneously meaningful and meaningless. It can be delightfully confusing and seemingly directionless. It is over-complicated and deliciously so.

Not that it’s perfect. For one thing some of the characters really called for more development than they got. Also the story sometimes veered wildly into territory that seemed to come from nowhere. On the plus side, the reader is forced to give up having any idea of what is going to happen next. There is no “Rat. Squid. Rat. Squid.” going on here. It’s all about the clockwork octopus repair monkey squad.

The life of a nanotechnology architect is changed forever when he is commissioned by an aristocrat to bring a special project to reality. The aristocrat has designed a magical book that he hopes will teach his granddaughter to be independent. After engineering the book, the architect decides to make a secret copy of it to give to his own daughter. This plan goes awry and the unintended consequences multiply quickly. A copy of the book falls into the hands of a little girl living in a ghetto. More copies of the book are manufactured by a terrorist group whose agenda includes raising an army of orphans. The architect himself is forced to take on a mysterious clandestine mission. A multimedia actress falls in love with a little girl.

In the process Stephenson creates a compelling world and inhabits it with well-developed characters. There is a lot of darkness. Sometimes bad things happen to people who might not deserve it and not everybody is going to make it out of the story in one piece.

With Stephenson you have to let go of the last book you read by him. You may have loved Zodiac, but it’s not like Zodiac. You may have loved Snow Crash, but it’s not like Snow Crash. You may have loved Cryptonomicon, but it’s not like Cryptonomicon.

Creepy Factor: 3 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 4 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 3 out of 5 (There is some really strange sex going on under the ocean, among other places.)

Final result: I loved this book. After I read it, I took it straight to one of my best friends and told him to read it. It deservedly won the Hugo Award for Best Novel in 1996.

The Diamond Age: Or, a Young Lady’s Illustrated Primer – Neal Stephenson – Bantam – 1995

View this book on Amazon

Monday Monster Music: The Cramps – Strychnine

RIP Lux Interior

RIP Lux Interior

Hello boys and ghouls. I’m working on a book review but in the meantime here’s this week’s Monday Music Madness. I owned this album Bad Music for Bad People for years before I actually saw the The Cramps perform in concert (on Halloween night, natch.) And there was some point during the concert where I realized that the album cover is really a portrait of Lux Interior. The man really looked like this in concert, but of course more awesome. Today’s Monday Music Madness is dedicated to Lux Interior.

The Cramps * Strychnine * 1980

The Cramps - Songs the Lord Taught Us - Strychnine Get this song on iTunes.

Weekly Geeks Number 5 – Judging a Book by its Cover

Ah yes. Judging a book by its cover. Oh the irony. You know, a lot of people look at me and judge me by my cover. They see a twisted, horrible monster who might eat children or probably scurries around in his cave when the sun is out instead of doing something wholesome like riding his bike. And in that they’d be half right. If children weren’t so sour I might eat them. But enough about me. This week’s “Weekly Geek” assignment has made me realize that it’s NOT all about me (gasp.) It’s all about the internet and how fun it can be! Here’s the assignment:

This week it’s all about judging books by their covers! Pick a book –any book, really– and search out multiple book cover images for that book. They could span a decade or two (or more)…Or they could span several countries. Which cover is your favorite? Which one is your least favorite? Which one best ‘captures’ what the book is about?

One of my most favorite book covers is the first paperback cover ever done for Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. We’ll get to that in a minute. But first I want to share about the internet. Check this out. There is a whole blog dedicated to all things Frankenstein. Wow! Here is a cover I found at this blog of a book that I actually owned once. Ah the memories.

Norman Bridwell's 1970 How to Care for Your Monster

Norman Bridwell's 1970 How to Care for Your Monster

There are so many cool Frankenstein covers and here’s what they tell me.

Contrary to common opinion Frankenstein’s monster was really sort of more like the Incredible Hulk.

2008 Graphic Novel

2008 Graphic Novel

Frankenstein’s monster liked to hang around at home in the nude.

2003 Penuin Classics

2003 Penuin Classics

Frankenstein’s monster was into the ladies.

1973 Arrow Books

1973 Arrow Books

Frankenstein’s monster liked redheads especially.

1932 Photoplay Edition

1932 Photoplay Edition

Frankenstein’s monster really really liked redheads but maybe didn’t know what to do with them exactly.

1953 Lion Books

1953 Lion Books

This last cover, of course, is my personal favorite and the one that started it all, but I have one last thing to share: The Bride of Frankenstein action figure! Right on!

Wow wow wow

Wow wow wow

Movie Review: Coraline

Welcome to another movie review at darkinthedark dot com. At some impressionable point in my young monsterhood I had the distinct misfortune to be exposed to a virulently wholesome substance known to mankind as the “After School Special.” These were TV shows where kids would learn that people who misbehave are fated to be confronted by their parents and later be treated in a stern but ultimately loving and forgiving manner. I know I’m not the only one to bear scars from these shows. I recently heard a grown woman complain that every time her mother hugs her, she gets an After-School Special flashback and pulls away. What does this have to do with Coraline? We will soon find out.

Screen shot from Coraline 5

Before I get too deep into the review, I have some things I have to make clear:
1) I read Coraline when it came out and enjoyed it.
2) I avoided all the hype about this movie to the point where I refused to read anything about it or watch any of the trailers. I didn’t even know it was in 3D!
3) Thanks to Pixar and Aardman studios I expect BIG things out of animated movies.

The basic story is that Coraline has just moved with her parents into a rental house that also contains some strange neighbors. Coraline is bored with everyday life and feels neglected by her busy parents. While exploring her new house, she ends up discovering a passage to a sort of mirror world where everything is magical and everyone loves her. In the other world there is an “other mother” and “other father.”

The Other Mother (also known as the Beldam) is a very interesting character. In the beginning of the movie, the Other Mother is actually pretty hot, and seems loving and friendly. The Other mother cooks delicious food and does special things for Coraline. But as the movie goes on, the Other Mother changes, and not for the better.

Coraline Screenshot 4

I think the number one problem with this movie (and with the book) is that its baked-in wholesomeness kills the suspense and makes the proceedings inevitable. While it is offbeat and creepy, underneath all that delicious darkness is a cloying After School Special morality-tale flavored sweetness. I was also left wishing we could find out more about the Other Mother. How old is she and what is she really? At the end the Beldam changes into something resembling a spider.

Here are the good things:

It’s in 3D. This made it really fun. There were parts of the movie where people in the theater (including me) were ooh-ing and ah-ing out loud at the cool 3D. Definitely awesome.

It has some insane and magical spectacles. Whenever I see a Pixar movie or something by Aardman Studios (who do the Wallace and Gromit films) there is inevitably some point where I am shocked and amazed at how imaginative and brilliant they are with their medium. With animation, the sky’s the limit. Coraline has several scenes (all orchestrated by the Other Mother) where they really take full advantage of the medium, especially one featuring the crazy neighbors from downstairs in their theater playing a mermaid and Venus from Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus.” Just brilliant.

It has some darkness. There is a lot of darkness. Rats, rot, and general darkness. For example, the “other father” becomes imbecilic at the end. Half in a sad way and half in a creepy way. If you know me you know I love the dark.

Coraline screenshot 3

And that’s kind of the way it is. It was good. My friend the Diabolical Doctor Francois liked that one of the main characters was a cat. And this is definitely a movie where if you’re even considering seeing it, you have to have to have to see it in a theater. Otherwise you may as well just not see it. (Update: Go here to download my Papercraft Coraline Doll.)

Creepy Factor: 4 out of 5
Suspense Factor: 2 out of 5
Weird Erotic Tension Factor: 1 out of 5 (unless you’re into old ladies with enormous bosoms in body stockings) Also the Other Mother is kind of hot in a Jan Svankmajer-meets Cruella DeVille way.

Coraline – Based on a book by Neil Gaiman – Directed by Henry Selick – 2009

Purchase Coraline DVDs on Amazon

Don’t miss my central source for information on Coraline: Coraline Central.

Pinup of the Week: Horror Stories August 1940

Horror Stories 1940 08

Horror Stories 1940 08

darkinthedark does not claim copyright on these images. If you are the copyright holder and object to their presence here, please contact me and I will remove them.

* Search for Shudder Pulps on eBay *

The flying monkeys let our technician out for a minute and he snuck away into the light of day. Thanks for your patience during this difficult transition.
I ated Tinkerbell.

Fhtagn Spoken Here.

... the attic, a vast raftered length lighted only by small blinking windows in the gable ends, and filled with a massed wreckage of chests, chairs, and spinning-wheels which infinite years of deposit had shrouded and festooned into monstrous and hellish shapes.
The Shunned House
H.P. Lovecraft




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